


in the streets

by andathousandyearsmore



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bisexual Pietro Maximoff, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Clint Barton's Home For Strays, Kind Steve Rogers, M/M, Minor canonical character death, MoMA, Multi, POV Pietro Maximoff, POV Steve Rogers, Paprikash, Piano Playing Pietro Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff Lives, Rare Pairing, it's sad that the MCU killed him and his personality off, mentioned characters and cameos, none of these tags make sense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-18 12:04:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17580482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andathousandyearsmore/pseuds/andathousandyearsmore
Summary: He knows what people think of him in America. Quicksilver, they all call him, the fast Avenger, the one who can run quicker than a blink. The people love him, more so than they do Wanda (which he will never understand) and even some of the older Avengers. The people also like to create a personality for him. He knows that he has a certain reputation for being carefree, easy, dumb, and for sleeping around. It isn't necessarily false, if he's to be fully honest.America is no Sokovia (and that is for the better and the worse), and he doesn't know yet if it will be home. It's true that for him, home isn't a place but with people, which is why Wanda is the only thing he has left, and has had left for years now. These Avengers though, he'll see if they come close or not.For Wanda's sake, he hopes he'll find it in him not to run away.





	in the streets

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by a Pietro x Steve ask and surprisingly, the entirety of Dua Lipa (Deluxe)

This life has taken almost nothing to settle into. Pietro finds himself waking and living with no problem everyday. There's no hardship here, no lack of food or clothing, and no worries. He is free to do as he wishes, whenever he wishes and however he wishes. There is plenty he has wanted to explore, and now he can. Simple as that. No more cold winter days, unless he wishes to turn down the heat. No more canned imported beans from American relief support, and there is a lack of people nagging at him to do this and that for them. There's nothing wrong. 

He remembers a pamphlet someone had given to him a week after his parents died. It had said that life couldn't be characterized as a lack of one thing, but rather the presence of another thing. Another pamphlet had told him that nothing being wrong didn't necessarily mean anything was right. They had meant nothing to him then, full of grief and anger.

Now, they mean enough that he can admit that while it's easy to live here, it's hard to find a reason to want to. His days are spent wishing for the next and aimlessly drifting through the giant Tower that Stark has allowed all the Avengers to stay in. Sometimes he runs around, burning off the extra energy that had never been there before. He eats more now, too. There is a gym for him to practice in, and large television screens for him to watch programs and movies on. There are many films in English, but he manages to find a few in Sokovian that he recognizes. After that and a movie that Stark calls an American classic, he is not so sure he wants to watch anymore. 

Despite all this, there is nothing tying him here in America, minus Wanda. Pietro has always been bad at staying still without something holding him down. He knows that if Wanda ever finds out he does not like it here, and only is staying for her sake, she will pack both of their bags in an instant. Now, with her powers, he wonders how long it will take her. He hopes for a while, so that he may learn to love it here, for her. Pietro wants to find something he can do, and find something about this place he likes. 

So he starts with the people. There is Stark, who he has forgiven much more easily than Wanda has. He thinks he understands what it was like for Stark in his world, and how it was not necessarily his fault. Pietro has shifted that hate over to whoever had fired the missiles and bombs on his hometown instead. It's easier to live like this, where the hate is onto someone he can't see or really talk to, and therefore can blame all he wants. Stark is all too real and all too much of a person, though he suspects it is more of a show than anything. Pietro has caught the dark, sleepless circles underneath Stark's eyes, and the tired look that sometimes flashes on his face. Pietro thinks he is a master at the fast by now. Besides, the billionaire is a kind man, not faultless, but trying. That is something he understands, too. 

There is the one who told him to call her Natasha. She doesn't trust him, he knows that, but she is making an effort. She lives up to her codename; a deadly and beautiful spider. He vows never to get on her bad side. She is smaller than him, but more deadly than he can ever hope to see. Natasha is Russian, he finds out later by Stark, but has no accent. She knows many languages, and a little bit of Sokovian, but it isn't passable to speak. It's all okay anyway; he knows Russian if she ever wanted to converse secretly. She is a spy, an assassin, and therefore dangerous.

He has met Clint, alias Hawkeye, and finds that this man is determined to all but adopt him and Wanda into his family of strays. He is not sure if any of the others realize it, but they have all been adopted somehow by him. Even Stark, who remains convinced he has no family. Clint is an archer, an assassin, and a marksman with perfect aim. He is funny and lighthearted and a self-declared comedic clown. He is also very forgetful and leaves his hearing aids everywhere, much to the chagrin of Natasha. Stark sometimes likes to eat popcorn while he watches Natasha yell at Clint. 

Thor he has met only a few times here and there, because the other man is a god with responsibilities elsewhere. Of all the times that they have met, Pietro can understand why people in the older times had worshipped Thor. He also has a fierce love for Pop-Tarts and 'his Lady Jane', who turned out to be Dr. Foster. She had dropped in once to talk to Tony once, and ended up staying for two days, her friendly assistant making herself at home in the meanwhile. Both of them were good at translating the fancy English that Thor used, with words that Pietro didn't always know. It turned out that Thor had All-Speak, and understood whenever Pietro spoke in Sokovian. After the first time, Thor now sounds like he always speaks Sokovian, which was much more useful in understanding him. Wanda hasn't figured that particular piece yet, as she still sometimes looks confused at Thor's words. Pietro isn’t about to tell her that Thor's magic needed to know that they prefer Sokovian. 

Ha. 

He knew that there was a man named Bruce who he hadn't quite met yet, since Bruce was somewhere taking time off in India after Ultron. Bruce was also the Hulk, and a seven PhD-holding-scientist who Pietro vaguely remembered learning about in school in the notable American scientist unit. For all that Sokovia hated America, and despised it, there were some thing he had learned positively about it, and Bruce was part of it. Even later, when he was out of school for years, he remembered some of the nearby hospitals were helped by Bruce Banner. Pietro actually wished to meet the impressive man. 

Sam Wilson, the man with wings. He was former military and a current/former veterans counselor who had been drafted when Captain America had taken down SHIELD and part of HYDRA. Sam is a calm, down to earth, normal man who had lived a relatively sane life. He understood grief, but he didn't let it consume him. Wilson was a nice presence to have in the Avengers, Pietro supposed, as a bomb defuser. 

He hasn't really talked to James Barnes, who had been HYDRA's Winter Soldier. It wasn't really out of a purposeful avoidance... but just really good coincidence. If everyone was to be believed, he had been a good man ( _American war hero and all_ ) and was working on being a good man now ( _though if accounts were to be believed, it was the man part of that phrase_ ). Pietro didn't have any room to judge. He had volunteered for von Strucker's experiments, and this man had been tortured into submission for seventy years. Pietro couldn't imagine that. 

Vision is someone who Pietro doesn't know to be amazed or confused by. Maybe both. He is synthetically created life with the Internet in his head. He also has the Mind Stone, which was what Pietro had gotten his powers with, along with Wanda. Startlingly, Vision is most similar to them, and he really doesn't want to think about. He also doesn't think about how his sister had found herself slightly enamoured with the android. 

These are the Avengers he knew about, and the ones he could piece together, with reputations, experience, and others' stories. All but one. It puzzled ( _and infuriated, if he was honest_ ) him how he couldn't seem to understand the last one.

Or, more fittingly, the first one. 

Captain America. 

Well, not him. That man Pietro knew about and learned in history class ( _so what if all the information was skewed? He still knew it, didn't_ _he?_ ) and the news. A loved idol in almost all the world, with decades of legend and lore behind him, though he was asleep for most of it. A hated figurehead in some select parts of the world, with decades of burned effigies and graffitied slurs against him, though he was still asleep for most of it. He stood for America, liberty, justice, and all of those freedom values it spouted... whatever. He doesn't care much. 

But Steve Rogers, on the other hand… 

This man Pietro doesn't know much about. He punched bags, fought missions, gave orders, fell in command, cooked food, befriended the team and little else, helped his best friend, and learned about the world he had been dropped into. This wasn't knowing things, this was a schedule of someone's that told very little. Well, at least to Pietro, since he wasn't some spy like the others. 

Based on what he had seen, it seemed like Steve Rogers (it was funny how he was Mr. Rogers, like the TV show. When Wanda had shared this and the show with him, Pietro had laughed and now he didn't let the captain live it down) didn't have a personality or a life at all. Which wasn't true, because everyone had personalities and lives, no matter how annoying or bland. 

Besides, none of that fit in line with the man who had told the Avengers to walk off death, or the man who had apparently spent the better part of two months ( _two months he was never getting back, but at least he didn't die_) watching after Pietro when he was in Dr. Cho's Life Cradle machine thing. He wanted to see the man who had torn down HYDRA to its roots for his best friend, and not this sad, shell of a person. 

Pietro knows this isn't exactly in character for him, caring about someone else who wasn't Wanda, but he is curious. It doesn't matter that most of his curiosities were fleeting little things. So what? Tomorrow is a different day and maybe he'd care about the captain, maybe not, but today he wants to know.

He decides he is going to do it.

So as he runs out of the room he's in to the communal kitchen ( _a common area for the captain to be in_ ) he runs right into the captain and pauses. 

"Oh!" Steve yelps, completely apologetic. "Sorry!" He shifts himself towards the left just as Pietro does the same, and then the right as he notices that both of them are trying to get out of same corridor, and then the left when Pietro does the same. It's awkward and clumsy and not at all like how he normally is. Pietro wonders if this normal for the captain. "Sorry." 

Pietro steps out of the corridor, letting Steve pass through, which he does with a bashful smile and a thankful nod. 

"Oh," Steve says again, looking at Pietro. "I was looking for you, actually. Um, do you have some time?" 

It's amazing how the usually confident and bold captain ( _at least in the battlefiel_ d) is... not always like this. To be honest, he hasn't talked to him very often. For all that the man is extremely tall and imposing physically, he seems shy and not at all like he flaunts anything, much like Pietro himself. Which is weird. It's almost like the captain is unaware of himself. 

"Yes," Pietro finds himself saying. "Why?" 

And that is how Pietro finds himself fighting with Steve an hour later, with both of the most trying to bring the other down with as many dirty tricks, fighting skills, and moves as it takes. Surprisingly, even with his speed, Pietro hasn't found it easy to defeat the other man. Ironically, the older man does see it coming, for some reason that he can't figure out. Most people see it coming after they are already flat on their ass ( _Pietro likes that expression_ ). 

"Not bad for an old man," Pietro comments when Steve calls it a day, after they have been fighting and sparring for at least two and a half hours. Neither of the men are tired—much. He could have easily done this for another hour. 

Steve rolls his eyes. "If you're calling me an old man, what does that make everyone else?" He has a smile tugging on his lips, a secret that he isn't saying yet. 

"Younger than you," Pietro taunts back, wanting to know. Now, this is interesting. "Old man."

The smile extends to a smirk that sounds like it would out of place on the captain's face, but is actually perfectly at home. "Sure, if we're callin' what, a four year difference old now. I'll be sure to tell you that in four years."

Pietro smirks teasingly. "I'm turning 25 soon, not 95. I think there's a few years you skipped."

Steve shakes his head like a man who has heard these jokes one too often, and yet there is still a smirk on his face. "Maybe a three to three and a half difference." 

Pietro blinks, and the realizes that the captain doesn't count his frozen years, nor does he have any reason to. Which means that... he was 28, more or less. The youngest out of them all, if he and Wanda were excluded. Maybe. Pietro has no clue about Natasha. 

"Whatever," Pietro scoffs, acting unbothered by this information. He doesn't know what about it shakes him just a little. "Still old." 

He is about to say something else, when both of them are interrupted by James ( _he said to call him James if your name wasn't Steve_ ) leaning against the wall and clearing his throat. The man looks amused more than anything. 

"Hey Stevie," James drawls in a heavy accent that sounds familiar to some part of New York, "When you're done tryin' ta convince him that ya aren't old, Sam wants to talk." 

Steve raised an eyebrow at his friend daringly. "Yeah, tell _Sam_ that I'll be there, Mr. Messenger." Pietro knows of how James and Sam cannot stand each other, but try to fake it for Steve's sake. So this, James sending a message for Sam, is weird and they know it. Steve rolls his eyes again. 

James smirks, looks between the both of them, and then leaves. Silent. Assured. Powerful. Pietro is impressed. 

"Technically, Bucky's already 30 or 31 with all his time awake," Steve casually points out as he watches his friend leave. Pietro can't help but laugh at that, and how Steve had said it. Captain America, sounding like a petulant teenager. 

"You should talk to Sam," Pietro says when he stops laughing.

"Later, then?" Steve asks, as he nods with a wink and a smirk. So both of them head their ways, Steve to Sam and Pietro to the showers. For the first time in the sixteen days since he has been technically revived, he looks forward to later. 

(Later, as he finds out, does not disappoint.)

(At all.)

“Hey, do you have a minute?” Steve asks just a few days later, when Pietro is walking ( _yes, he knows_ ) around aimlessly. This time, he sounds much more confident, like his alias. This is good, but is this the later the captain had asked for or not?

“Yes,” Pietro responds, just like he did last time. He is sure he sounds much more eager, which is not how he wants to play it. “Why?”

Steve grins brightly, and Pietro sees why Wanda calls him ‘sunshine boy’ underneath her breath sometimes. “You might regret telling me you're free.”

He likes challenges. They are things he would never let best him. So Pietro grins back much more mischievously, settling into his cocky vibe like a second skin. It is not so faked as it normally is. “Bring it on, old man.”

Steve shakes his head playfully, with a fond roll of his eyes. “Three and a half years, Pietro, just you wait.” But the captain walks on, expecting Pietro to follow or keep pace with him, which he does. He's Quicksilver; how can he not keep pace?

They end up in the kitchen, which he is confused about. The captain cannot possibly want him to cook, not when he can't do it. And there is nothing cooking for him to eat, which is an even less likely possibility, that the captain cooked for him. Pietro decided to keep his comments to himself, hoping that the man would explain before he jumped to conclusions.

“Wanda mentioned she loves paprikash,” Steve says, pronouncing the dish’s name carefully. Somehow, he doesn't manage to fumble or say it clumsily, but rather like a man who knows the language in somewhat of an intimate fashion. There's no horribly American accent either. Pietro approves. “And I think she's a little homesick, so I wanted to know how to turn this recipe I found into something that isn't a poor imitation?”

Now this makes sense. The captain likes taking care of his team, and always watches out for something wrong. Pietro can tell that the captain sympathizes with a feeling of homesickness and displacement. With a feeling of horror, he wonders if anyone had tried to help the captain like he was attempting to do right now. That answer wasn't something he wants to know, not really, or something he wants to think about.  

This is the moment when he realizes that the captain considers him and Wanda to be part of the team. Not just as fighters. He doesn't know what to think. 

"Of course," Pietro says, grateful that the captain had noticed Wanda. "This, I can do." 

The captain looks at him for a second, before smiling softly and shaking his head fondly. That is strange. But as the captain slips on his apron and begins to pull things out while asking FRIDAY for steps, Pietro doesn't think about it again. 

How can he? Watching the captain cook is fascinating, and whenever there is a lull in movement, they talk plenty. He learns much more about the captain than the books, and yet still knows nothing. His stories are filled with the old James and the old life, with mentions of nuns and dance halls and war raids, but they say nothing about him. The captain carefully omits himself as much as possible from his stories, and this little fact is the only thing Pietro has found today. 

Well, that and the fact that it doesn't take long for the captain to make delightful paprikash. It isn't as good as his family's, and doesn't taste the exact same, but he doesn't want it to be. This is different, and it should be. 

"Thank you," Steve smiles as Pietro nods approvingly at the spoonful he just tasted without a comment, "for helping." 

"Make paprikash once in a while, yes?" Pietro shrugs casually, like it was nothing. 

Steve laughs again. "I'm not sure it's that good, but whenever." He ladles a large amount into a container, seals it, and hands to Pietro. "For her." Almost immediately, he portions the rest off into a separate container, seals that, and then cleans up. It is fascinating to watch him move so fluidly across the kitchen in this manner, too. After a second, it is apparent the second container is for him, so he takes it.

"Oh. Thank you," Pietro thanks, blinking. His welcome is probably outstayed, and maybe it would be creepy for him to watch without helping. So he leaves.

Wanda's face lights up when he hands her the first container, but it isn't until she tastes it that she looks truly happy and a little less homesick. Pietro smiles as he opens his own and starts eating, but inside, he doesn't know what to think. 

The next afternoon, when Wanda gives him a mischievous smile and is clearly hiding something from him, he still doesn't know what to think. It isn't until that night, when he goes to the small kitchen on their shared floor when the familiar smell of wedding svickova fills the air, and the smile he had faked yesterday became more real. This bears the mark of the captain, and he has no doubt that he asked Wanda to help just as he asked Pietro to help. Clever.

Pietro doesn't know what to make of this man. 

(The svickova was actually really good. Wanda had definitely told Steve what he liked.) 

(He doesn't know how to tell Steve that svickova is a wedding dish, served at those events.)

(Wanda thinks she is funny. Pietro does not.)

It's been 47 days since he was revived, and 20 since he had gotten the svickova, and Pietro feels as unsettled as he was before he had sparred with the captain. What had started as a curiosity is now very clearly not, and somewhere in the past month, he has begun to feel a little more restless. Which terrifies him, and that is why he feels strange. 

In that time, he has met all of the Avengers and really talked to them, though it is only really Steve who has made an effort to talk to him rather than only Pietro making an effort. Somedays, when the nightmares come and go, he doesn't want to get out of bed, but it always the captain who asks him to try. It sometimes work, sometimes doesn't. 

He used to be sure that he didn't like it here, and that he was only staying because Wanda was. He used to try and see how Wanda had managed to find a place here in the two months he was dead. Now, he isn't too sure that he hates it here, and he doesn't have to try as hard. The team is okay, and fighting for a side of good is okay and that's where he thinks he stands. Maybe. 

28 days later and now the count is 75 days. Pietro has never been one for numbers, but this counting of days is something that has come naturally. He doesn't even realize that he's been counting until Tony shows him photos of the captain's 1000 day defrosting mini-celebration. He had wondered who bothered to keep count like that, until his own number jumped out. Pietro didn't say anything. 

He once thought that Steve was the only one he couldn't piece together, and that he was the only one with a curiosity. But as they spent more and more time sparring, training, talking, and becoming something akin to friends, it seemed like the captain had a curiosity in him as well. Absurd. Pietro isn't really anywhere near a complex man, and he doesn't pretend to be. 

Pietro knows what people think of him in America. Quicksilver, the fast Avenger, the one who can run quicker than a blink. The people love him, more so than they do Wanda ( _which he will never understand_ ) and even some of the older Avengers. The people also like to create a personality for him. He knows that he has a certain reputation for being carefree, easy, dumb, and for sleeping around. It isn't necessarily false, if he's to be fully honest. And that is the extent of how it goes. Nowhere in there is described as being complex, or interesting, or anything but a pretty boy with a special skill. 

Debating on whether he regrets his decision to figure the captain out or not, Pietro goes for a few laps in the morning during his 76th day. He spots the captain running along with Sam and blurs away even faster, so he doesn't get noticed. That isn't what he wants right now. 

Day 84 and he's already been talked to by every single member about why he's avoiding Steve. Apparently Steve's been 'hustling' the rest of them into doing all the things that he used to do, including the fighting, food taste-testing, and American movie watching. He doesn't understand why the last two are a problem, especially when Steve makes the best food and when Steve provides the best commentary during movies. They don't explain, and most of them are scary enough he doesn't ask. 

Pietro gives them half-hearted answers, since he doesn't have a clear one himself, but they all let him go. It's not lost on anyone that this isn't the last time that they'll ask him about this. Pietro hopes he has a better answer by then. 

Because right now, everything is like polluted water ( _shit, there is a word he's missing_ ) and nothing is clear. 

Pietro really doesn't know. 

* * *

Steve has a lot on his plate right now. Between trying to convince Tony that Ultron wasn't completely his fault and that Steve doesn't really blame him, trying to deal with the leadership role he's been thrust into ( _even if it's been his for years_ ), talking to government officials, holding back sharks trying to attack Bucky, HYDRA, the new members of his team, and talks of the Sokovian Accords, he's tired. It wouldn't even faze him if he suddenly collapsed in exhaustion. He's making all the right decisions, except when it comes to self-care and the results have never hurt him this badly. 

And it's not as if he's drained in energy. No. Steve is vibrating with all this energy and tenseness that everyone is mistaking for actual health. He's thankful for it; he doesn't need people telling him that he needs a break. Believe him; Steve knows. What he needs is an outlet, and he can't seem to find one. 

Being the master strategist he is, he decided to go a few rounds with the resident speedster and get all that energy out while tiring himself out well enough that dreams couldn't even touch him as he slept. Plus, he could check in on Wanda's brother, see how he was doing, see what he could and couldn't do, as well as get to know him. At this point, Pietro was the only one Steve didn't know yet, and he wanted to. Wanda always spoke of him in the highest regard. 

Of course, with his beautiful luck, he runs into him, no pun intended. Steve stutters out an apology, too tired to get it together and play it off, and then asks him to spar. Pietro doesn't make fun of him, thank god, and accepts. 

Hours later, Steve feels great, and he gets to see a side of Pietro that wasn't just a shell of a man. It turns out that Wanda was actually understating it when she called her brother a troublemaker. In that time, Steve has been subject to quite a few old man jokes, and then ends up surprising Pietro with the information that he isn't actually too much older, biologically. 

Still, after that, Pietro opens up more and more to the team and sasses Steve the most. From Mr. Rogers—apparently Wanda was at fault and _as_ _equally_ _mischievous_ _as_ _her_ _brother_ —to his supposed age, the quips did not stop rolling. Whenever it was just the two of them, he gave as good as he got, and whenever it wasn't, he merely rolled his eyes. It was nice, and sometimes he could just pretend he didn't have actual work to do. 

With Pietro, Steve didn't have to be someone else, like he had to with the rest of the team. Even with Bucky—who he does _not_ blame—he feels like he has to act being 1940s Steve, who he isn't anymore. There are no expectations, or pressures with the speedster. It's a breath of fresh air, really, that someone is willing to just take him in, no masks. 

Now, it's not even Steve who instigates all the time. Sometimes Pietro will invite him to do something new or to find out things. That was how their weekly movie day started, with both of them trying to watch movies that everyone else thinks they should watch. That was also how they had gotten lifetime passes to MOMA. Pietro had once wanted to check it out after Steve's endless gushing, and while they were there, some random villains decided to attack. Pietro had zipped around, stopping them while Steve rushed everyone out. Funny enough, that had also been the day where Pietro had asked to be an official Avenger, like his sister and everyone else. 

Still. Lifetime passes. Life. Time. Passes. 

(Steve had practically fainted when the director had handed the passes to the two of them.)

(Pietro had almost collapsed to the floor in laughter. Steve _did not_  steal Pietro's pretzel bites in retaliation, thank you very much.)

(Steve had also not tackled Pietro when he had attempted to tell the team about Steve's fanboy—thanks Natasha—moment.)

Steve had rolled his eyes. It was Museum Of Modern Art they were talking about! 

Like Steve, the media was also excited about their outings. Wanda had placed a privacy spell—Steve didn't ask, Steve didn't tell—over Pietro that blurred him in photos and made it so that people couldn't get a good look to remember him on the streets. Because of that, everyone thought Steve was with a date in all those photos, and rumors surrounded him. He honestly wondered sometimes what would happen if they realized Pietro was male. Would they call Steve gay, or would they call it a bromance, like they had for Sam? 

Steve doesn't care, but Pietro ( _more importantly, Wanda_ ) may. But that is a later issue. 

Currently, Steve wanted to know why he was being blatantly avoided. And it wasn't just him who noticed. All the team has been asking him if something happened. He doesn't blame them. With the way Pietro runs out of the room whenever he walks in, it's hard not to notice. Steve, as far as he remembers, doesn't know what he did to cause that, and he wishes he does. He doesn't think he did anything to warrant being avoided, but Steve's always had a knack for leaving bad second impressions. 

But if Pietro doesn't say anything, he won't push. It's okay. Though he's grown accustomed to having Pietro as a close friend of his, and one willing to do fun and new things with him, it's fine. Steve has everyone else and so what if he has a little more 'free' time? It's not really free time, not with this job anyway. There's a lot more paperwork and the job never ends. That was one thing they never advertised for Captain America. Along with the unable to drink thing. And the sleeping in ice for seventy years thing.

Whatever. It's not like this is his worst job anyway. Second worst, for sure, but not the worst. 

Still, some days Steve just wants to scream and curl into a little ball, if only to block out the world for a second. He wonders what it's like. He's gotten close, but he knows that won't happen for a while, not while he's being ignored. He doesn't think he's allowed to scream, cry, and curl into a ball. Which is, by the way, exactly what happens when he has to talk to misogynistic, homophobic, xenophobic, transphobic elitist pieces of government-sanctioned shit on a regular basis. Punching bag it is then, even if it doesn't almost nothing. 

It's fine. It's totally fine. ~~It's really not~~.

Steve's got this. 

(Spoiler alert: he's only half-right.)

* * *

Pietro gradually starts to stop avoiding Steve. 

Steve doesn't ask what's changed both times. 

Things fall into their previous rhythm perfectly.

This is not a game of two truths and one lie.

Except Pietro now knows what's happening to him, and why he feels like there's something strange about the entire situation. He doesn't know how to deal with the fact that he is somehow developing feelings for a man, who is in all intents and purposes, off-limits and painfully straight. Honestly, Pietro should be pulling away now, but whenever is he one to run away from something something? Never; that's when. 

It's a flaw, he knows. It's also something he shares with Steve, which is what made them click so well. Also likely a reason he even allowed himself to get close enough to Steve to develop feelings. Pietro is regretting that, at least, but then he also thinks about how he wouldn't have this amazing friendship as well. 

He copes with this realization as best as he can. He hides it and sleeps with what Wanda dubs 'the entire club and then some' over the course of the next few months. He has a feeling she stole that expression from some show. He will find out where's she's learning all these American expressions one day, and then reverse it on her. Pietro is sure of it. 

Tony throws parties frequently, and drags them all out to bars a little less frequently. Pietro cannot have alcohol anymore, since it doesn't do a thing, but no one has figured this out yet. It allows him to act pleasantly tipsy and flirt without too much judgement. Though he's sure he gets judgement for drinking. Which is fine. Completely fine. And hey, it adds to the reputation he's built up here and in Sokovia. 

He wishes the alcohol would help him sometimes, though, especially when he notices Steve leaving with someone unfamiliar when no one else notices. Not even Natasha. They all just think he left early because he couldn't handle the atmosphere. Steve always wanders off—they all think it's old grandpa syndrome—but he always finds other people. Also, he isn't sure where the idea of Steve not being able to dance came from, but he can say it isn't true. It really, really isn't. 

(Steve can also  _grind_. Pietro is not sure what to do with that information.) 

(He also isn't sure how to stop thinking about Steve's ass. The dancing _does not help_.) 

He wishes he can just see Steve pick up a guy at least once, just to have a question answered. Then again, since when does Steve actually answer any of the questions Pietro has about him? Never, that's when. It's been more than half a year and Pietro really couldn't tell you what kind of a person Steve besides the word _good_. Not that he really needs anything more, but he also kind of does. 

Still. He wants to know. 

The funny part is that Pietro has said very suggestive things to Steve in the past, and Steve hadn't done anything to turn him down or even show discomfort. Steve doesn't do it himself, but he doesn't discourage Pietro, not even once. In fact, he doesn't discourage male flirters at all. Steve just doesn't encourage them ( _unless the tight, tight shirts count, or the one time he had shamelessly flirted back with a male reporter who was reputed for being gay_ ) and start it. Actually, he's more likely to discourage the women, and decline time and time again. He's known for liking women and being straight... but this?

See, this is why Pietro has questions. 

So he flirts with Steve some more, and finds out something else. If they're alone, Steve has a 50% of flirting back and returning Pietro's suggestive comments. The other 50%, Steve just smirks and rolls the comments off of his back. If they're not alone, Steve always pretends to turn a little pink, waves the comments away, and blatantly doesn't respond to them. But as soon as no one else is looking, he'll wink at Pietro with that stupidly amused look. Usually, after these moments, Steve will flirt back later. 

Troll. 

(Natasha has taught him this term, though he doesn't think she knows why he asked.) 

It is no secret that Pietro doesn't care who he sleeps with ( _Wanda says he has no standards, which_ _is not true_ ) at all, as long as they're attractive and consenting ( _that's probably the only reason Wanda hasn't fully told him off; everything is safe_ ). Somehow, the conservative American media has not even poked a word at this, since he knows what happens to those who say they are interested in their own gender. The public knows, he thinks, since people of all types flirt with him. 

That might be Wanda's doing more than anything. Either way, he's grateful. 

And for a while, this is the life he lives and the one he's perfectly happy with. Nothing changes. Of course, the captain has to put a dent in that as well. 

(Pietro's _getting the hang_  of American idioms. Ha, Wanda.)

It's late one night, or early one morning, he doesn't know, and he wakes up from a nightmare. These days are far less now, but there are still a few and they are brutal. He knows there's no use in trying to go back to sleep now, and decides to wander a bit. Pietro feels a strong sense of déjà vu as he remembers how he used to prowl the halls the first two weeks. Thankfully, he has gotten much better.

He decides to go to the impressive grand piano in one of the communal rooms. It's a beautiful, elegant instrument that his fingers easily glide over and respond to. Pietro had only dreamed of playing something like it before he had come here, and he had been stunned when he saw it for the first time. Not that anyone but Wanda knew he played the piano, and even she thought he had abandoned it back in Sokovia, because he couldn't sit still enough for it. Untrue. Piano is one of the only things he could sit still for, and he loves it. 

When he gets to the piano, he is glad he walked and not ran, because there is someone else at it. Listening to the beautiful and familiar sounds in the air, he's grateful he didn't disturb them by running and interrupting. This person has clear familiarity with the piece—Dvorak—and their fingers play with a practiced, time old quality that feels nostalgic. His mind jumps automatically to when he had learned it as an eleven year old boy with a love of running and piano. Those were the good and safer times, when he didn't see all the things that he had seen.

There's only one glaring thing with how the person is playing it, and it has nothing to do with them. 

Pietro can't tell who it is in the shadows and the low lighting. He debates with himself on if it's worth revealing his own skill to the person on the benefit of fixing the one thing wrong. 

Dvorak's _Legends_ is a duet composition. There's ten pieces to it ( _this person is on the fourth_ ) and they're all meant for two people. But without the second person, the vibrant, dramatic piece has taken a different turn to it, echoing sadness and an overwhelming amount of melancholy. The tiempo, slower than how he's normally heard it playing, does nothing but the same.  It's no less dramatic, but there's a sense of lost and loneliness that Pietro would have never thought could be associated with the piece. He think that it's chilling. 

He quietly walks into the room to get a better view of the piano player. Pietro freezes. Out of all people, it just so happens to be Steve, quietly pouring himself into the piece, desperately filling it with the sadness that one would never associate with him. In this soft light, the man is someone who's completely unlike the Steve he knows, but still unmistakably Steve. Slightly tousled blonde hair ( _darker without bright light_ ) and plaid pajamas, Steve seems like he's drowning in the song, and Pietro suspects he's been here for a while, perhaps playing from muscle memory. It's sad, and he doesn't want to think about it, or what could have made Steve come here and turn bright songs hauntingly cold. 

Maybe that's why he hasn't noticed or heard Pietro yet. 

So Pietro takes a seat on the bench next to Steve and feels Steve tense up next to him, suddenly crashing and stopping. Both of them wince. He feels horrible for ruining the moment. Just as Steve turns to talk to him, Pietro puts a hand up to stop him from saying a word. He notices Steve's red-rimmed eyes and decides that there is no room for words this night. 

He starts to play the accompaniment, a few measures before where Steve left off and hopes that Steve guesses what it is that he's doing. What specifically he wants. Almost right on time, Steve's eyes widen as his ears catch on to what he is playing. The second half, the harmony. On time to where he crashed the notes, Steve picks up his melody. It's better than any version Pietro has heard before, or even played. He wishes that this moment can last for a while, so he can enjoy it for what it is worth. 

They move in tandem, notes flowing, hands soaring, bodies brushing against each other sometimes. Slowly, he can feel Steve loosen the tense, taut muscles in his body, and his own high strung nerves calm down. He's often a perfectionist when it comes to this, but this piece they have between them is not perfect. Sometimes one or the other will try and control the rhythm, and sometimes, they don't plan the dramatically extended or shortened notes, but he thinks that for tonight, he won't care. 

It is enough, to curl into the music on this dark and nightmare-filled night with a warm body right next to him. For this lengthened moment, he can forget about what has happened to him and simply live. There is nothing but a warm feeling and tearful ( _yet happy_ ) emotions. 

During a brief second when he has a rest, he looks over to Steve. His face is perfectly calm and peaceful, lost in memories sealed with eight letters on a page. There's no tension in his face, and he looks young. Young enough to be Pietro's age, and this is when Steve's true age of 28 finally shines through. Pietro suddenly feels bad for all the old man jokes he's ever made to Steve, especially since it wasn't his fault that these things had happened. Pietro looks away. He wants to trace the small, youthful smile on Steve's face, but instead continues playing. 

He's painfully aware that this is the most romantic moment he's been a part of, and it's not at all one. Just two nightmare-ridden friends trying to stay above the water and tossing each other lifesavers in A, F, D, and B flat. It's beautiful, and he knows there's something poetic here that Wanda would tease him endlessly for, but these kinds of words have never been his strong suit. To him, words have always been cheap, unable to say things he wants to say, no matter how he tries. There's nothing to describe this, anyway. 

Number ten ends too quickly for him to like, but Steve merely pauses for a second, before launching into a Rachimoff duet ( _four pieces_ ) that Pietro only knows the melody for. As he pauses, unsure of what to do, Steve merely smiles again and plays an unfamiliar part that balances against the melody ( _playing in Pietro's head already_ ) which he suspects is the second. So he tries to not fumble his way through what he knows, and has to pay a little more attention to this one. He doesn't care, even when there are a few mistakes he can hear. Steve doesn't either. 

Pietro would say that Steve isn't even paying attention, if it hadn't been for the way that Steve complimented Pietro's playing, even when it wasn't the most smooth. He thinks that when this is over, he'll pick something and hope that Steve knows it. He's suddenly very glad that he learned numerous duet pieces, thanks to his instructor having to teach two kids at the same time. And both parts, since he was an ambitious player. He hasn't played nearly enough here to still be called that. 

But he thinks that he might be spending a lot more sleepless nights here, rather than walking around. 

(Actually, looking back on that moment, he now spends much more time on the piano.)

(No one but Steve has caught on, either. Pietro doesn't know how they are some of the best spies.) 

His nightmares have definitely decreased from once a night to twice a week, which he calls progress. Even if it is two too many. On the other hand, the number of sex dreams he has have increased, and many of them are centered around a certain captain who really doesn't deserve that. He finds himself with a slightly more increased libido. Not a problem, and yet still a problem. 

Because after the piano incident, he also finds himself unable to repress some of the non-platonic feelings he has for Steve. Wanda would call him a pining, lovesick fool if she found out. He's glad that she doesn't take the time to actually read his mind, and he's glad that she has taught him how to try and stop himself from projecting feelings for her to read. She probably suspects she that he has feelings for someone though, because she keeps asking him if he's dating or wants to date. 

_"Has anyone here interested you?" Wanda repeatedly kept on asking, always hurrying to add on, "Not just for sex," before he opened his mouth to respond._

_"No," Pietro would always lie, because he didn't want to endure that kind of teasing or pity from her, "But there is this one attractive..." Wanda always rolled her eyes at whatever story he would spin up. He didn't think she believed him, but she also didn't ask anything more._

It isn't just Wanda, either. 

_"Do you want to date someone?" Natasha would always bluntly ask, sometimes rewording the question to try and play from an angle. She'd then mention a person from this place and list off a few good qualities about them. They were almost never his type. He had also been set up on a few blind dates, some of which had been disasters and others that had been great for one night stands. Never anything else. He was just glad that his sister and Natasha never meddled together._

_"Hey Maximoff, you have anyone?" Clint would sometimes question, always like he was just casually interested, and yet not. Pietro wondered if it was just a conversation starter._

_"Speedy Gonzales, I heard you've been trying to fuck a club. How does sex work when everything goes fast? Has anyone stayed long enough...” Tony would ramble, always with a new nickname and the question if he did everything faster. Pietro tuned him out, always._

They all seem like they want to know, even if they play it off. It's like they almost want to know for someone else, which is stupid. Natasha and Bucky, he knows, are an an on-off couple who were pretty much exclusive unless it came to missions, even when they were off. Clint is married with three children (one is named for him, after Sokovia, but before he was revived) and Tony is practically engaged to Pepper. It's weird. 

The only person who doesn't ask ( _besides Steve, who knows the pain of having everyone try to matchmake_ ) is Bucky. Pietro likes that. The one time it is ever brought up is the day that he learns that Bucky and Steve used to date, back before both of them fell. But the romance with Margaret Carter wasn't faked either; he learns the three of them spun the narrative to make it be Steve and Peggy when it was really Bucky, Steve, and Peggy. He also learns that Steve has been playing the innocent card his entire life, and that there are only four people alive who know that Steve isn't: Bucky, him, Peggy, and Steve himself. 

Apparently, they split ( _now, in the current time_ ) because Bucky didn't remember much of their old relationship and the war, didn't want to tie either of them down to old memories, and because both of them had agreed that they were different people with different loves. As far as breakups went, Pietro thinks it was a civil one, seeing that both of them are still in each other's pockets, like brothers. He knows there's a few things that Bucky isn't telling, but he gets it. Privacy.

And besides, he learns something more important. Steve likes both genders. Good information to know. 

( _Oh, who is he kidding? The entire team probably knows about his 'crush' as they say it._ )

Unfortunately, with good news also comes bad news. 

Steve gets a call one day, when the team is all assembled and at Avengers Movie Night. They usually have AMN ( _separate from Steve and Pietro's own thing_ ) whenever all of them ( _minus Thor_ ) are there and usually after someone(s) comes back from a mission. In this case, Steve's had ended yesterday, but he had only come back just earlier tonight since he wanted to spend a day in DC.

He gets up to take it, just as Tony pauses the movie. The movie paused for two reasons, one so that Steve doesn't miss anything and two so that everyone can eavesdrop. It's not like Steve does anything but stand at the entrance and talk quietly. He makes it so easy. He also doesn't care, most of the time. 

This call starts off like any other. Steve's greeting the person on the other end of the phone—this time a stranger—and then he waits for them to talk. He listens, says something back, and the conversation flows until the call ends. It's evident that this is not like any other by the worried look on Steve's face at the other person's greeting. 

"Is everything okay? Is she alright?" Steve's voice is asking, as the pinched, pained expression on his face worsens. Something is definitely wrong. 

The other end says something, but halfway through, it's clear that Steve isn't even listening. His eyes are glazed over as he's clearly lost in something happening in his mind. He's eerily still, like even a breath could knock him over. 

"No, I... I just, I just saw her in the mor—”

Then, in horrifying slow motion, Steve sobs loudly, falling to his knees and dropping the phone in his hand. These are the broken, utterly ruined sobs of a man who has lost something dear to him. They are sharp and piercing—like glass shards through his own heart—but there is nothing relatively salvageable. He's shaking and trembling, hands desperately trying to muffle noise and completely vulnerable. It's scary, really. Watching him is a painful process, as no one wants to see their normally steadfast, strong leader break apart in pieces so easily. Pietro thinks he's just found another piece of Steve, but at what cost? This is something he wishes were left hidden.

"Steve," he hears Bucky say next to him. "Stevie." Bucky goes to kneel in front of Steve, cautiously wrapping his arms around him and hugging him comfortingly. The blond's tears are muffled in Bucky's sweatshirt, and everyone can see the blooming patches of water of him. Pietro immediately thinks that this is how Steve hugs people, without the caution. 

Steve doesn't hug him back, too shocked and out of it to respond truly to Bucky. He only leans in because Bucky pulls him closer in. Brothers. 

Natasha, who has at some point taken Steve's phone, takes a look at who called Steve. Her eyes widen as well, and she flashes sympathy for Steve. Quietly, she mournfully says, "Peggy Carter has died." 

Tony opens his mouth to say something, but quickly shuts it when Steve starts to say something completely muffled by Bucky. He cries just a little more, letting it all out. At this point, he's curled completely into Bucky, and most of it is by his own recognizance. Pietro wishes that he could be that person, and then internally slaps himself for even thinking any of that. Awful horrible thoughts like those did not need to be entertained. 

Just as horrible though, is the Avengers call that rings in the meantime. Almost suddenly, Steve stops crying as he springs to his feet fast enough to give everyone whiplash. He has already pulled on his captain face, and his eyes have a steel in them that Pietro knows will make today's villain regret their attack more than anyone else anywhere else. There isn't a single chance that Steve is going to not hold himself back in his grief. 

(Pietro's right. For the first time in Dr. Doom's villainous career, he surrenders. When he asks why Steve's fighting like he's punching Nazis, someone tells him that Peggy Carter has died.)

(Even _Dr. Doom_ has the decency to give Steve a sympathetic look.)

(Some days, Pietro just wonders about Dr. Doom.)

Days pass. Peggy's funeral comes and goes, with Steve as a pallbearer. He cries a little more that day, especially when he gives a speech. Listening to everyone talk though, Pietro can only imagine who she was like. He wishes they had met at least once. 

More days pass, and Steve copes with her loss surprisingly well. He laughs again, does things with Pietro again, and settles into his role with ease again, every bit like the Steve he was before. Only now, he has one less friend and one more grave to visit whenever he does his little circle. Everyone knows about this habit of Steve's; the one where he spends a day or two visiting the graves of his friends buried in America ( _Steve visits his friend Jacques's whenever they have a mission in France or France-adjacent_ ) and coming back a little sadder, a little lighter.

Steve lives, but it doesn't take someone like Natasha or Clint to tell that he misses having one of his last connections to his past life. Everyone knows that Bucky is the last person he has left from that time, and then, thanks to HYDRA, maybe not fully (through no fault). It's true that Bucky's moved on from the past and Steve entirely hasn't, but it's also true that Steve has more he doesn't want to lose whereas Bucky has already lost it. 

He wonders if it is ever straining for Bucky or Steve to see each other and see something completely different than who is actually in front of them. Sometimes, he'll look at Wanda and see not the healthy, stable version that she is now, but the constantly sick, unstable, and hurting version from the experiments. Pietro has to restrain himself from running to her and trying to help her out like he used to before, because he can't get it out of his mind. Sometimes he'll looks at Wanda and see the girl she was after their parents died, or the girl she was when they had all taken a vacation to the nearest quality hotel and stayed there for a few days. He can't even imagine what it is like to look at someone and be hit with images from decades and decades past, when both of them looked so different. Steve, when he was much smaller, and Bucky, when he wasn't all muscled, long-haired, and with a metal arm.

(Pietro doesn't know how he would have taken it if Bucky has been Wanda.)

(He doesn't think he would.)

Pietro wakes up a few days later and startles himself when he's realized it's been 250 days since he's been revived. 250 days. 308 since Sokovia. He marvels at how the time has passed by so quickly, before cracking a smile. 

Brushing his teeth, Pietro thinks about his first 25 days, and then yesterday. Things have changed incredibly, and for the better. He wakes easy, he lives easy, he sleeps a little easier, sure, but everything is much more than just easy to do. It's easy to _want_ to do, and Pietro thinks that makes all the difference. He has something that ties him down that isn't an burden and while it's still not perfectly like home to him, he can easily believe it might be. 

And that is enough for today, to keep him from running like he had planned to do. 

And that is enough for today, to keep him from making that decision. 

Things are looking up. 


End file.
